i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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