Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
