Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
