Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
