And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
