yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
