Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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