She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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