She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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