whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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