I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
