so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
