The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize