But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nicole vs. Life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
