At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
