i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
