Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
