It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
