i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
time to smoke my breakfast
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
