don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My ass is underappreciated
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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