heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
