So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
