i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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