why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
