So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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