I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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