your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
