I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
