it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
