your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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