porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
