did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
