You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
