I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
