She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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