There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
