He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
