do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
