and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
