I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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