Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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