Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
