Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize