I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
