I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize