she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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