Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
