I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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