Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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