small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
