I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do vagina's smell?
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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