let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
