so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
