I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
