Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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