I smell stomach acid.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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