Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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