she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do vagina's smell?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
