Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
