your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize