The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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