Kiss
Puke
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
